What is this A zombie post-apocalyptic hetalia fanfic!(of randomness)
by Burn.account
Summary: Based off a picture i saw on facebook with Russia welding pipes that had been sharpened into swords and i don't know this happened rated T because i wasn't sure of anything anymore *One-shot*


Welp yeah so I got inspired by a picture on facebook of Russia with pipe swords and this came out. I'm sorry if they seem a little OOC because well some of them may be. This is because this a future fic that also is a zombie apocalypse and when a zombie apocalypse happens you need to put up or shut up. Takes place in America. Also human names used!

Disclaimer: Do I look like Himaruya Hidekazto you? Because I'm not!

Patient zero, so many horror films and movies had different versions. So of course ironically, Patient Zero was vegan. A cattle farm uphill of an organic veggie farm. Mad-cow disease infects the brain but it enters through the digestive tract, so when he took a big bite out of his soy burger delight the unwashed particles of cow manure got into his system. From there it spread. Within months majority of people were dead or zombified. Not everyone that ate the infected food took to the disease, it only changed AB+ blood type so when every someone got infected blood into them from that, that's when it took to them. Groups of survivors are pocketed here and there, mainly to the west where vast lands are free of zombies. But if people lived what of their countries? The land masses themselves were just that now land masses no government to rule, however what of their personifications? They lived on as long as their people did. One of the pockets of survivors were the countries. They had been in New York when the power went out and the zombies number 2:1 humans. Of course they fought. They fought beside one another, beside their people and their neighbors people. Yet they were still forced to the west.

A safe haven was formed in the desert, tunnels underground that could grow food and support many. That was easily defend and secluded. That didn't mean life was easy-peasy lemon-squeezy. They could grow food but they still had to get certain supplies from old stores, such as clean bottled water, ammo, guns, canned food, etc. Ammo was one of the most valuable things available and as such was not to be used unless of emergency. There was not an endless supply like they show on movies.

Ivan sighed as he moved through the wreckage, the broken sign proclaiming the run down store use to a 7–Eleven. Glass crunched under his black boots as he moved deeper and deeper into the dark store. Fading sunlight filtered through the broken windows casting deep shadows from the empty shelves. He held two water pipes, one in each hand, which had been sharpened to a wicked point. Since guns were so rare anything was used as a weapon, from hockey sticks to wok pans. Two more pair rested at his lower back ready to be banished when the current ones broke or got lost. An AK-47 was strapped to his upper back underneath his long white scarf. He stopped muscles tensing, waiting. Then the unmistakable inhuman sound. Only this was higher than normal, verging on painful. Ivan didn't even have time to react before he was side-swiped by the undead creature. Foam dripped for the creature's mouth as it let out another screech. This close Ivan could smell the horrid rotten meat smell of its breath, and could see the features of the once human creature. The monster that loomed above him was Justin Beiber. Driving his elbow up, he slammed it into the freak's jaw a sickening crack ensured that it was now dislocated. Kicking out his booted foot hit the creature's chest sending it sprawling. Its high pitched wail was abbreviated when his sword slide through its neck.

Ivan stood there, chest heaving listening incase more came. He spun on his heel when glass crunched behind him as heavy feet fell upon them.

"Whoa, whoa whoa!" The albino stuttered out, the cold steel of the sharpened pipe pressing into his neck painfully. "I'm not a zombie I swear!"

Ivan sighed, "Da, you aren't but you'll be dead soon if you keep doing that."

Gilbert laughed, "Kesese I think I proved I'm too awesome to die! Besides if I did die who watch your back? Alfred? Kesese!"

Ivan scowled, "For everyone's sake don't get yourself killed, if you did we'd be short three people."

"Three?"

"You, Alfred and me."

Gilbert laughed, walking past Ivan "Ja, I won't die if I did it would be a terrible sin, taking this awesomeness away from a world that needs it so bad-Is that who I think it is!?"

Ivan chuckled, "Da, I'm not sure what was worst him human or him zombie, either way his singing hurt my ears."

"Kesese! I can't wait to see Matthew and Alfred's faces when we tell'em this!"

"Well it will have to wait until after we gather the supplies, which we should hurry the sun's almost down." Ivan replied his violet eyes casting through the broken shop windows.

"Ja, ja stop blabbering them and get moving!" The Prussian commanded as he stepped over the rotten body, the long double-sided sword that rested against his hip jiggling with every step.

Ivan rolled his eyes but followed the albino deeper into the store. Cautiously, the pair made it to the back of the store where the fridges were located. Almost everything had been snagged, only some spoiled eggs and milk left and surprisingly a few jugs of water.

"I'll get the water you grabbed whatever you can find." Ivan said as he holstered his make-shift swords so they rested against his hips.

Gilbert gave a mock salute as he swagger off to the side to find whatever he could. It only took two trips to everything back to the jeep, they managed to collect the jugs of water, several boxes of granola bars, a few can of beans and pork, and much to Gilbert's enjoyment a case of beer.

The last rays of the sun lit their way as they zoomed down the dusty path. The desert went on as far as the eye could see stretching on and on. Ivan sighed as he drove, it was funny how after all those years of bickering and petty fights that all it took for all the countries to truly come together was the end of the world. He snorted dryly at that, then again there was no way they could all live together and not kill each other faster than the zombies would, so they broke up into bases all around this heap of rock. The Allies and Axis were located in the south, the Nordics the east, the middle-easterners north, and whoever else was left the west. It was a good system, they stayed connected through various means ranging from telephones to magic, and it kept them spread out not to thinly but thin enough that if one sector died then the survivors would be hopelessly lost.

Then again, sometimes no matter how much you trust a person with your life you have the urge to punch them, hard, in the face, with a boulder. Ivan smirked which only irked Gilbert more his eye twitching.

"Can we please listen to something else?" He stressed.

"No."

"I swear to Gott if you don't-!"

"Nyet, I let you listen to your music on the way out here so it's my turn!" Ivan cut him off, turning up the volume on the small radio station in between them on the dash board of the old jeep.

Gilbert gritted his teeth angrily as the music played. Ivan smirked and started to sing along.

"Into the Motherland the Germany army march comrades stand side by side to stop the Nazi charge Panzers on Russian soil a thunder in the east one million men at war Soviet wrath unleashed!"

Gilbert sat there seething no doubt plotting his revenge, "What you don't like it? It's true though da? The Motherland crushed you!"

"Don't take about yourself in third person it's creepy, and you know you played dirty! Giant Russian freak!"

"Kolkolkol that's not very nice, I can't control that you're so short!"

"I'm not short!"

"Damnit to hell if I knew how to get back I would shot you in the face!"

Ivan hummed a grin pulling at his lips, "Da, keep thinking you could but I know the truth."

"What that you play dirty! I could take you down if I wanted to, the only reason you won when we were kids was because you tricked me! I could have taken you had you not lured me onto the ice!"

"Hm and that's why I tried to warn you to get off, da? Because to me it seems you are just stubborn and thick-skulled and don't know when to stop. Such as the pancake incident."

"Wh-what! What does that have to do with anything!? Besides that doesn't count! Matthew is Alfred's brother how was I supposed to know he could eat so much!?" Gilbert stuttered his face flushing red.

"You did not have to make the stakes so high," Ivan laughed, 'That would have been a good time to have a camera!"

"Shut up you perv!" Gilbert grumbled turning away so he could hide his face, though it was no use since the top of his ears were red as well.

Ivan laughed harder, veering off the main road and driving through the quickly cooling sand, "But you were such a cute little krolik!"

Gilbert choked on his on saliva, "You freak! You're such an asshat! Screw you!"

"You should dress up more often, the tail and ears look really good, and if you were wearing that I wouldn't mind if you did, da!" Ivan grinned at how easily flustered Gilbert got, and how red he got.

"Ugh! Ich hasse dich! And you know what? I do have pictures of you in a dress! So shut up! At least when I was in one it wasn't voluntarily!"

Ivan could feel his cheeks warming up but he still laughed, "That wasn't just a dress _Gillie_, as I recall it was a slutty maid costume with bunny ears and tail."

Gilbert glared, "Well then, I just also happen to remember I'll be hanging out with West, but not before I tell Natasha you almost died."

Ivan's eyes widen, "you wouldn't!'

"Try me!' Gilbert growled.

"I was only kidding, no need to hit below the belt." Ivan sulked.

"You took it way to far Ruski!"

By the time they made it to the encampment the moon was high in the sky. The fence stood at least twelve feet with barb wire at the top. The guard that stood watch-Ludwig-opened the gate for them and closed it behind them before jumping on the back.

"Tag, Bruder!"

"Tag, so how did it go?"

"Oh super gut! We ganked a few stranglers on our way out then the awesome me killed three Z's while Ivan took down one."

"You mean you left me alone while you had to use the toilet and I took down a monster?"

"Haha you sure are funny, so funny sometimes I forget to laugh!"

"Oh still mad are we? You're so sensitive, da?"

Ludwig rolled his eyes as their bickering, it was always the same whenever they came back from a supply trip, they start out fine but by the time they get back there at each other's throats.

The encampment was simply, a fenced in area through which lead to a cave where they parked the jeep when not in use, it was only used for supply trips, and deeper into the cave was a tunnel that lead underground.

Ludwig grabbed two of the jugs of water jumping back to the ground after the jeep stopped. Their bickering went on all the way down.

"Germany! Germany! Did they get pasta? Can I have some pasta now!?" The excitable Italian practically tackled Ludwig to the ground with his hug.

"Italy! You can't have anything if I drop it!"

"Oh easy up West! He's like a puppy you just have to give him all the attention he needs!" Gilbert laughed smacking Ludwig on the back as he walked past.

"Yo! America! You won't believe this, but guess who the ruski ganked!"

Alfred ran towards them, the rest following at a slower pace. He had a bloodied base-ball bat over his shoulder, "Who?"

Gilbert snickered, "Oh I'll give the honors of telling to the one who got the kill!"

Ivan scowled, differences aside him and Alfred still didn't get long very well, "the one called Beiber."

America laughed, hard. "No way, Matthew you hear that!? Ahahahahaha! I still remember the day you threw him on me! That was mean by the way!"

"Yeah, well I guess it's to make up for all the times you messed with me, eh."

"Big brother! Let me tend to your wounds!"

Ivan did not make a sound similar to a squeak as he –tried and failed- to hide behind Gilbert who was laughing, hard.

I don't know how to end this so yeah… I feel like I could have done a lot better but I just don't know how to write a zombie story so it's just really a cracky hetalia fic

Ok I feel like I should explain my hatred for Justin Beiber, well I'm supernatural fan need I say more? Well for all those who don't know beiber fans have boycotted SPN because one of the stars (Jared you sweet sweet evil genius) made a call out on twitter to Justin "How much did you have to pay your friend for him to say it was _his_ drugs?' something along the lines of that. So yeah that happened and man did this go wack-o or what I don't even know, I'm not very good with action so I wasn't planning on writing action but still this wasn't I'm not sure really but yeah took me a few hours to write. Hope you like! :3

P.S Rusprus is my otp hint why they were the main characters and had such tension it's fun! ^^


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